tailcast

It's like being trapped in a moment
And all you want is for time to pass quickly.
When your awake at night, and only long for sleep,
But your thoughts continue to rage.

It's that weight on your chest.
Makes you self destructive so you can cry.
It's that cut that makes you high.

The lies that you tell and the secrets that you keep.
That smile that you plaster on your face, that get's smaller every day.
You don't eat, you don't sleep
You only breathe, and sit and think.

It starts with a consoler and a pill.
It ends with a razor or a bullet and tears.

The anxiety that you have to live in this landlocked place.
When your pleasure come from pain
But not in a sexual way.

It's when you try to stand tall in the sun,
But fall beneath the moon.
Cigarettes lit and put out on skin.
Oh if only they knew.

When you want to lie down and never wake,
This is the sadness that is never ending.
The depression that you cannot cure.
Those deadly thoughts that consume you, until you are no more.

The demon that you feed when you bleed.
The fear from nightmares, that maybe they're real.
Perhaps a premonition?

My anxiety builds from the thought that maybe I will be the one to cause my bitter end.

Depression.
It kills.