forever alone I exist not wanted in the light and far from loved in the shadows. No family, no friends and no lover can ever fill the emptiness inside of me the trouble is I don't know what is me, the emptiness or my plastic smile? I spread my lips ear to ear and fool the masses but at last I know I am truly a corpse instead of worms to eat my flesh I have all of the world to eat my soul I am a walking contradiction. Feed the hungry and kill the fed. I ask why go over seas to murder children when here at home we have so many of our own bleed me honey and I'll love you forever, love me honey and I'll leave you tomorrow. Fear me and I'll fear myself. O bring me home lord I now believe unless of course it is hell you have waiting for me and lord if I had but one question to ask you it would simply be why? Why o lord can I not slit my own wrist or paint the walls with my own brains? You gave me this life o lord and I don't want it so take it back. Forgive me lord and save me from eternal damnation for it is not you I hate it is simply that I hate myself. But how can I not o lord when I hate the world I'm in? Caked in the worlds filth that has seeped through my skin and poisoned my very own heart. As a child which seemed so long ago I would spend my day scraping of the of the filth to avoid being infected only to spend the next day doing the same. Eventually you learn to cope or just learn how not to care which in the end are one and the same. This is what is known as humanity which is only a nice word for cancer. A cancer to this world which will soon spread to the others until all of existence is swallowed by our own stupidity, leaving nothing which in turn I am.
Tina on Nov 21, 2008, 11:18 pm
no no no no no no no still NO
juniperlillie on Oct 26, 2008, 4:02 am
"The remedy is the experience this is a dangerous liason. I says the comedy is that its serious this is a strange enough new play on words. The tragedy is how your gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on so shine the light on all of your friends when all amounts to nothing in the end.... I won't worry my life away" Key word - experience... methinks theres a reason this song made it so damn big. ;)
Hyla on Oct 24, 2008, 12:49 pm
"Eventually you learn to cope or just learn how not to care which in the end are one and the same." Sorry, gotta say I think this flies in the face of everything you've written before it - you do care - too much. But this is just a quibble in relation to everything else you've written here which is powerful and heartfelt.
Steff298 on Oct 24, 2008, 12:09 pm
The only positive effect I have on the world is to play. Being playful is infectious, as infectious as negativity. It may not feed the hungry, stop wars, ect. but it does open doors to those who keep them closed. Helps me keep mine open too. Trust me we care, just different ways of dealing as a matter of self preservation. Each of us changes the things we can, one little piece "peace" at a time, one little heart at a time. Including you. That makes us valuable, all of us. You write. I play. One mind at a time...
Bonobo with a twinkle in his eye so beware al on Oct 24, 2008, 11:18 am
Plastic smile my ass, heart felt, Keep up the rightous fight my friend
juniperlillie on Oct 24, 2008, 4:53 am
I hear ya... the heart wants what it wants... i've no answer for why it only wants what it can not have. <3
J.C. Woolley on Oct 24, 2008, 1:58 am
half a pack of smokes and a few beers later after writing the rant consumed i wrote this.....just another example of the emotional fucking roller coaster i have come to call life