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Write me a poem about being together…
One wonders where to rhyme it with weather
Or whether to say
'Weathering the storms' altogether
Yet like relationships
The best lines of a poem
Are not made to be a perfect fit
In poetry & life we must aim
For a richer deeper vein
And always try to ascertain
The hidden rhythm and rhyme
That connects our lives
Ladies & gentleman
We are gathered here to day to see
A brave and almost foolhardy thing
Two people’s lives have intersected such
That they are willing to try
To complete the imperfect circle
From time to time
They may see eye to eye
On this or that
Yet to uncover the meaning of today
They here agree
To agree to disagree
In the long intervals in between
I have heard said, and read,
That love is like two trees
Intermingling to become one
That type of poem may do
For the feeble and the young
It appears to me that love
Is much stronger than that
For what tree ever argued with itself?
A better image to imagine would be
Two trees in an orchard contentedly
Separate in space and in time
And knowing they can never be
As one
Leaves fall and summers breeze
The rain & wind
Shakes the boughs
& the trees stay rooted & strong
Gazing at each other through the years
Until at last one winter too many falls
One might say
How sad to be a tree
Condemned to be alone.
But we should say happy trees!
You shared so much together
And knew each other better
Than you knew yourselves
It is the space between us
That defines us & our love for each other
The space we allow each other
To breathe & grow
So if you must spend your lives
Trying to be together
Remember
The test is not how close you are
But how you live with
The distance between you
May you spend your lives
Exploring and guarding
The space around you
`Who knows what may grow
in the ground between?’
poetry , poem , day , tom , togetherness , wedding , sian , illustrated , oliver
Pete22 on Dec 8, 2009, 5:38 am
Thanks for your feedback Lena - I wanted it to be a counterpoint to the usual wedding dross that says in marrriage 2 people become 1. That seems like a recipe for misery to me...
Lena Short on Dec 5, 2009, 7:06 pm
I love this - the idea that you should explore and guard the space around you has got me thinking...:)
Ben Spees on Sep 14, 2009, 10:49 am
An occasional poem that manages to combine witty wordplay, built of puns and rhymes, with insight, and deep feeling. Then you throw in metaphor and gorgeous visual imagery from nature. Pete, you may have created a new genre here; I don't know what to call it. "Occasional Metaphysical Lyric Wiseguy" poetry? Beautifully done! 5*!
Hyla on Nov 10, 2008, 9:43 am
wonderful duo-purpose re-post! :)
Jodamme on Sep 2, 2008, 3:42 pm
I quite like that :) - often poems surrounding weddings can appear to be predictable, but I enjoyed how you went against expectations initally and then developed the metaphor into something which ties into the idea of marriage. Although there's a resident feeling of loneliness within the metaphor, which I imagine some people wouldn't be able to see past - however, maybe that just depends on the person? When the idea is fully though-out and digested, the poem becomes more powerful because of it.
juniperlillie on Aug 28, 2008, 10:15 am
That song... I can't think of the name of it now "When you start to make room for the parts that aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of love." For years I lived under what could best be described as a dictatorship. In the past year, and the few relationships I've had in that time, I've managed to learn that any relationship worth having is the kind where love is given space. I've tried to put this to words many times, never come close to anything this wonderful... I'll tell you love poems really aren't my thing as far as writing goes. I'm still fairly disenchanted with the whole concept. If ever there was any a more honest, truthful poem about the thing this is it, it's one for the history books, one for the ages... an idea that ought to be etched into the brains of people the world over. Sorry, but I felt like a more personal reply was necessary. I think I'm just in shock yet over how perfectly worded the thing is from head to toe.
Hyla on Aug 28, 2008, 5:38 am
Aw Peeeeeeete. This is so good! five stars
on Aug 28, 2008, 4:45 am
Occasional poems are always a challenge, and you've done the job well! The verbal play, like homonyms in the first stanza add a light tone to the serious exploration of what real relationships entail. We find autonomy an essential component, and the strength to imagine losing a partner eventually. These are important elements often left out of marriage poems, which tend to be more about supercharged intensity of feeling than about what people are actually in for, a huge challenge which can be hugely rewarding, but will also be a pain in the ass sometimes. This poem takes that into account, although fortunately not in those words! It is beautiful for that reason. The device of using the & symbol along with the tone of the later lines reminds the reader of Berryman's "Dream Songs", with their seeming frivolity, which belies the serious themes. This makes this an original poem with some resonance to the past, a refreshingly new take on the theme of marriage. 5!
sisterjulia on Aug 27, 2008, 6:06 pm
Pete this is amazing, Gorgeous and strong and true and usually many years in the understanding. very well and subtly expressed...I hope this piece rolls on, sharing with and helping many minds and hearts. I suspect it will.
Pete22 on Aug 27, 2008, 12:12 pm
thank you Juniper. It means a hell of a lot to read you say that.:)